By Sandra Esparza

College was always in the plan for me. I was going to be an influential person who saved the world. Getting to campus was the best day of my life because I knew this is where my journey was going to begin. However, I didn’t think about the bad things that could happen. Being a female student on any campus can have its difficulties. One difficulty being sexual harassment. I never thought it would happen to me because I’m strong willed and I speak up and fight for myself.

In the two and a half years I have been on this campus, I have been sexually harassed five times by both students on campus and coworkers in town. Five people I have to see almost every day.

Freshman year, this guy in my dorm tried to get in my room when I came home last one night. I was visibly drunk as I stumbled down my hallway. My friend wasn’t back in the room so I was alone. This guy came up to me when I opened my door and tried to get in my room. I tried to close the door but his foot was in the door frame and he was stronger than I was. This was two weeks into the school year and at this point I thought something bad would happen. I teared up; my light wasn’t even on. Thankfully nothing progressed, as one of my peers pulled him out of my room.

Although nothing extremely bad happened, I was afraid and felt hurt and harassed. I confided in my friend about this and she told the guy. He came up to me and confronted me in the dining hall and told me I was wrong and to not spread lies. Because of this, I didn’t tell anyone higher up. Who would believe me? I thought to myself, “He probably told people I’m a liar.” I decided to move out of my dorm and ignore and avoid him. But then I got a job that I was very excited about, and it turned out I had to work with him. I had to have meetings behind closed doors with him. I had to hide my undying hatred towards him. I joined Intervarsity later that first month because I couldn’t take it anymore. I had never believed in God but I knew that if nothing else, it would get me off of campus. I came to terms with the situation, despite having to see him every day and watching as everyone played around, and adored him.

I have been harassed by my coworker at my job in town. I told my boss; I explained to him that my coworker had grabbed my ass and repeatedly told me that he was the perfect man for me. He has a daughter my age and that added to the creepiness of it all. This guy  worked with my fiancé, and made his life difficult  – ultimately firing him for no good reason. This man stared at me every day, taunting me, and making me feel so uncomfortable that I ended up quitting my job. But, my boss didn’t do much.

I moved around to three different jobs in one month and ended up asking for my job back because it seemed like no matter where I went, I got harassed. I had a female boss talk about how hot and sexy I was, a man told me I couldn’t do the job right because I was a girl, and when I worked as a housekeeper, many told me I was in my place because cleaning is what women should be doing. I cried every night I came home because I felt worthless. I felt like it didn’t matter how smart and driven I was, I would always be seen as an object. The only relief I got was recently when I hurt my wrist and was told not to work. At least I can pour myself into something more positive.

The start of the semester was great. I had great friends, fun clubs, and amazing classes. But again I was harassed by two more of my peers. One was over social media. He told me that I was a whore, and I slept around even though I was engaged. This information spread throughout a small portion of our community. I had friends come up to me telling me that guys are talking about me and how I like to cheat. I was harassed by a friend who made me feel uncomfortable enough that I had to speak to someone about it.

There were two men at two different times who were in town who tried to get me drunk in a bar. I told them I was underage and couldn’t go to bars. One of my friends saved me one time by putting his arm around me to protect me. The other time, the man followed me for three blocks until I turned towards the police station.

It hurt me to think this is my future. People left and right made excuses for the men, saying things like: “It’s just how he acts. It’s nothing personal,” or “He’s joking around,” or “He didn’t know you weren’t into that,” and even “That’s how he was raised, don’t take it so personally.” I do take it personally because I am a person. The way he is acting is affecting me personally both physically and mentally.

Being a female on any college campus has its struggles. Most of the time people don’t want to talk about it because it’s too difficult to discuss. But for those who go through it, who play things back in their heads and destroy themselves thinking about what they did wrong or where they fit into society, it’s real difficult to not talk about it. Speaking up against the perverts and abusers of the world is necessary so that fewer women get attacked. If my friend would have told a counselor instead of my attacker, if my boss would have fired the man who harassed me, if someone would have spoken up to the man who followed me, maybe I could have been saved from the harassment and toll these events took on my life.

I am writing this because I want to be one of the ones who speak up. I hope it makes it easier for other men and women who experience abuse.